Treasure Map

[Kingpun]

Avast ye, mateys! We here at the ATO have unearthed a mysterious map that could lead to an undiscovered cache of convict gold!

An ancient and decayed map

treasuremap.jpg (14.71 KiB) Viewed 1656 times

This map is said to lead to the treasure of Frank Bacon, the Blackheart, who terrorised the Great Bight some centuries ago. The map was discovered along with a will, in which Bacon pronounced all his wealth to go to his "youngest, fattest" male descendant.

Congratulations, local forums member "Baconfat"! We encourage you to collect on your unexpected windfall as soon as possible!

Regardless of how Baconfat responds to this, such income must be catalogued by the ATO, and we are seeking to put together a team of hardened desert survivors and V8 drivers to accompany our assayers on their expedition inland. Under the new estate tax legislation, he will owe 99.2% of the value of his inheritance from his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, so I'm sure you can understand our interest in getting this worked out as soon as possible.

If you think you've got the grit and ticker we need, just rock up to the Opera House and ask for Steve in the pub.

[Horseboy]

lol australia

[BaconFat]

idgi

[Alceste]

Wait, is this an analogy for how Bacon is destined to one day pleasure a woman and how Australians are in the meantime are desperate to help him, and thus themselves, by recruiting help in locating the clitoris?

[Alceste]

If so then it's no wonder they're having trouble; someone has given them a bogus map of the female genitalia.

[BaconFat]

He's carping on about estate tax and carp.

[BaconFat]

Kingpun likes DEATH TAX because his parents have left all their money to the Cato Institute.

[gorv]

this is how i imagine aussie politics is all the time

[BaconFat]

My ancestor got sent here for burning a haystack!! That's why I like to burn things.

For example: kingpun your hairdo is more out of date than the autism medication in your fridge. burn.

[Kingpun]

that's because that medication isn't out of date.

[Kingpun]

pay attention, goddamn

[BaconFat]

"this seemed really funny and made sense at 3am when i was high on cough syrup" - kingpun

[Kingpun]

"i must defend the honour of my ancestors" - baconfat

[Kingpun]

this is a very simple conceit in which the TAX MAN is taking all your money, im sorry for including so many funny words and mentioning specifics about your ancestor because those things seem to have thrown you

[stan]